What's the big deal?

Votes from the dead to count in election

So? Cook County Democrats routinely vote in several elections after they die. Early and often.

Too much sense

In case you missed it, Osama bin Laden released a new videotape yesterday. Big deal? Aside from it being his first video appearance since he last broadcast from his rockin' casbah more than a year ago, he offered one of the most lucid, sobering analyses of the modern threat of terrorism I've seen get any kind of significant media coverage.

To prevent another 9/11, bin Laden said Americans should stop threatening Muslims' security. Well, duh.

"Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or Al Qaeda; your security is in your own hands," bin Laden noted. "Any state that does not mess with our security, has naturally guaranteed its own security." Way to be, Captain of the Obvious.

"Oh, American people, I am speaking to tell you about the ideal way to avoid another Manhattan, about war and its causes and results," he said. "Despite entering the fourth year after Sept. 11, Bush is still deceiving you and hiding the truth from you, and therefore the reasons are still there to repeat what happened." Thanks for sharing. We didn't already know.

OK, so bin Laden isn't exactly offering up any advice that I couldn't have told the Bush administration in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. But -- funny how this works -- it takes the cachet of a terrorist mastermind to be able to have America listen to someone spell it out so plainly.

But what really strikes me as revolting is the way this new video and bin Laden's statement are seen as potential political capital for Bush on the eve of the election. Granted, bin Laden didn't exactly endorse Kerry, but somehow Kerry's supposed to be defensive because the reemergence of bin Laden means we need to rehash the war on terrorism ad infinitum.

I'm sorry, I just don't get it. What does Kerry have to be defensive about? He can point out once more that Bush has failed to capture bin Laden by focusing instead on Iraq. Hello America, clearly Bush isn't doing much to quell that terrorist threat. Here's bin Laden himself saying as much.

It's ever so aggravating to be living in a society where this is even fathomable. Bin Laden appears on a videotape, once again thumbs his nose at Bush for not being able to catch the man he wants -- "dead or alive" -- for more than three years, and this emphasizes that Bush is stronger than Kerry on security??? Granted, Kerry doesn't seem quite smart or bold enough to actually do what bin Laden says (and what sober analysis would confirm) to prevent terrorism. But he does seem to possess the modicum of intelligence, or at least lacks the necessary ulterior motives, to use chasing bin Laden as an excuse for going into Iraq. This makes me profoundly depressed.

And it's all the more deflating to be observing this as I read about the pivotal crises in the Communist bloc and how a determined, vigilant society ultimately managed to overturn an illegitimate, broken system without violence. Perhaps it's just a pathetic attempt to rationalize my own interest in studying Communist upheavals, but I really see some disturbing parallels. A willingness of the media and society to accept "the lie," to repeat it without questioning it, to consent to the erosion of freedom. Unfortunately, the parallels end there. I'm not sure Americans as a society have reached the point at which they acknowledge the illegitimacy of the regime and have become mobilized to change that. Then again, it took decades and a lot of tribulation to achieve that in most of Eastern Europe. We haven't experienced quite so much, but it'd be nice if we didn't have to experience any of it, if we refused to accept official fabrications and instead pointed out that the emperor has no clothes, only blood on his hands.

The truly educated never graduate ... because they never escape grad school

This is the part where it's a picnic, right? Being a grad student, living that envied life, short hours, fewer classes, being paid to study. It's all one big non-stop walk in the park. Perhaps if I tell myself that enough times I'll start to believe it.

All of which is not to say I dislike grad school. Quite the contrary. It's fun to be in school, taking classes I like and not being subjected to boring, irrelevant graduation requirements (foreign languages notwithstanding). And I enjoy being around a bunch of other budding historians, genuinely smart people who sincerely love history and discuss it passionately. For one thing, it makes me feel like I'm the cool one when I think they talk history too much at happy hour and I think we should regress to more mundane subjects. Plus, it is pretty sweet to think that I'll make a good bit more this year as a student than I did last year working full-time. Not to mention that I have health benefits (and good ones at that), two weeks of vacation at the holidays, another one in the spring and summers off. Then there's the matter of actually doing what I want to be doing in life. Not once have I woken up in the morning and wanted nothing more than to turn off the alarm and go back to bed so I can avoid trudging to school once more. This may seem like I'm speaking too soon, given that I've had exactly four weeks of class so far, but it took precisely three days at my first post-school job to realize the working world wasn't for me. I worry about getting my classwork done, deciding on my Ph.D. fields, thinking about M.A. exams, finding fellowships for research abroad and to write up my dissertation, finishing the dissertation and getting a job. But these aren't paralyzing fears. Just things that occasionally cross my mind. For the most part, I just get busy and cease to think about them.

Ah, the busy-ness. It never ceases. I've found no real trouble keeping up with course readings or my Czech homework. Czech takes only a few minutes a day and course readings I can do on autopilot. It's the research and reading for my papers that really gets me. Reading critically, while good and important, is rather time intensive. And while I'd love to be able to devote a couple of hours or so to every chapter, it isn't exactly conducive to make great leaps of progress. I'm hoping I'll be able to motor through it a bit quicker once I get my topics more defined and can be keying in on specific things, but there's no guarantee.

Then there's the job. Tutoring is great. Helping people write history papers and getting paid to do it is an incredibly sweet gig for me. Granted, most of the papers I read need serious help (an incredibly high percentage lack a proper thesis and topic sentences that serve their purpose), but I like to think my comments are helpful, that they'll help students improve on the paper in question and maybe, just maybe they'll get some of these ideas about thesis statements and topic sentences stuck in their heads so they'll be thinking about and doing these things in the future. And the job pays handsomely. It augments my fellowship nicely, well enough to allow me to afford a nice trip to Ireland come Spring Break. Though I could certainly use the 15 hours a week for my own studies.

Still, there's a lot to be happy about. My adviser seems great; I think he's a good fit and a good adviser. I like my department. I like the other history grads. I like the school. Seattle's even pretty nice (though I do miss many aspects of Chicago -- think deep dish pizza; flat, easily biked terrain, the diversity of neighborhoods, the diversity of ethnic neighborhoods, etc.). And, if I can swing a summer FLAS, I'll actually end up getting paid to spend a month in the Czech Republic studying language. Yeah, that's exceedingly cool.

It's not Youppi, but it'll have to do

Own your own piece of Expos-ana! Bid on the last surviving hot dog from the final Montreal home game at Olympic Stadium! All proceeds to benefit underprivileged children at Christmas!

Eighth circle of hell: moral equivocators, conservative judges, Anheuser-Busch experimental beers

Anheuser-Busch’s ‘B-to-the-E’ Takes Beer to a New Level

Because Budweiser isn't already gawdawful enough, they've decided to market a Bud-cum-energy drink-cum-cola "for contemporary adults who are looking for the latest beverage to keep up with their highly social and fast-paced lifestyles."

Mmm.

Real stupid

In case you missed it, the MLS expansion franchise in Salt Lake City (you heard that right) will be named "Real Salt Lake".

The name is meant to conjure up notions of the highly successful and popular Spanish club Real Madrid, owner Dave Checketts said.

"We talked a lot about mascot names -- names you can't tell if it's arena football or indoor lacrosse," Checketts said. "I wanted a soccer name. I wanted to make sure that when people heard it around the country they knew that it was soccer. And I kind of liked the way RSL rolls off the tongue."

Sure, it's a soccer name. But how many people in Utah, let alone this country, will actually pronounce "Real" correctly? Can we start a pool on this?

Phrases you'll never read in the Sacramento Bee

"a psephologist's wet dream"

From a Guardian story on Der Governator's first year in office.

Behind the self-promotion

"I think we still are ministers," he said, no irony detectable in his tone. Mr. Simpson swats away criticism that his star-making is in any way exploitative. "Would I do anything to help them get to their dream?" he asks of his children. "Absolutely. But would I do something for my benefit as opposed to theirs? Never. My first responsibility is to be a father, before I'm a manager, before I'm an executive producer. It's complicated, but it's worked so far. Personally, I have the ability to separate those things." -- Joe Simpson, father of talentless MTV reality show hacks Jessica and Ashlee, offering insight into pitching a reality show of his own to find a new "child" to take under his wing and promote mercilessly for the sake of his own fame.

Malice? Never!

Fox News has apologized for posting a fake news story about John Kerry on its Web site.

The story purported to cover a post-debate rally at which the Democratic nominee gushed about being a metrosexual, attributing to Kerry such wholly fabricated quotes as:

• "Didn't my nails and cuticles look great? What a good debate!"

• "Women should like me! I do manicures."

• "I'm metrosexual -- he's a cowboy."

In its statement on the article, Fox News said: "The item was based on a reporters partial script that had been written in jest and should not have been posted or broadcast. Foxnews.com also regrets that error, which occurred because of fatigue and bad judgment, not malice."

No malice, just bad judgment? Certainly I agree that Fox does exercise exceedingly poor judgment in slavishly promoting a right-wing agenda as a de facto agitprop arm of the GOP. But clearly there isn't malice involved.

Yes!!!!!

The Hunt for (another) Red October is on!

Angels score three in 8th to rally, clinch first AL West crown in 18 years

Southern hospitality, cajun style

""Everybody loves to cook a sauce here. Turtle, rabbit, squirrel. If E.T. came to Louisiana, he'd be in a sauce, too." - Tim Fontenot, an Atlanta physical therapist transplanted from rural Louisiana, on the attraction of squirrel hunting back home.

Old gray lady

What's gotten into the New York Times this week? At least their cultural reviewers have decided to be refreshingly candid and scathing. First Frank Rich savaged a right-wing documentary extolling Dubya's piety, now Tom Carson lets the mainstream media have it by way of a review of the Daily Show's "America (The Book)".

On der Gubernator und democracy

During the history department's inaugural grad student happy hour this afternoon, a colleague remarked that, "If you've got a problem with Arnold [being elected], you've got a problem with democracy."

To which I gave the only logical and correct reply, "I guess I have a problem with democracy."

She must be rolling over in her grave

Mourning Jane Buffett? Don't send flowers, send a donation to the DNC.

From a paid obituary in Madison, Wisc.