Saving the earth, one Hummer dealership at a time
Radical eco-terrorists on a rampage. In what appears to be a series of coordinated attacks, or just a really busy night for a couple of people, SUVs across the Los Angeles area were targeted for vandalism or destruction last night.
The Earth Liberation Front torched at least one dealership and tagged several SUVs around the area, leaving an impressive trail of destruction. And the eco-terrorists prompted several SUV lovers to open their mouths and remove all doubt of their extreme stupidity.
My personal favorite, courtesy of Patrick Navarez of Monrovia, who discovered graffiti on his SUV's window: "The funny thing about it is that they're just targeting SUVs. I think that's really dumb." Thanks for playing the game of natural selection, Patrick. We have some nice parting gifts for you, including a one-way ticket to Extinction!
Imagine the stupidity of eco-terrorists targeting only(!)SUVs. I can't believe they didn't tag a single hybrid vehicle, and spared the bicycle store down the street. What kind of eco-terrorism is that? What kind indeed, Philippe?
But I think Brian Akre takes the cake. The spokesman for Hummer manufacturer General Motors had the following to say: "If this was some kind of misguided attempt to make a political statement, those responsible should know that committing arson and putting property and people in danger is not the way to gain public support for their position." After all, putting property and people in danger is the way to hawk millions of overpriced, unsafe, gas-guzzling SUVs -- a ticket to corporate riches, not political capital.
Perhaps I shouldn't take pleasure at this act of eco-terrorism. But then, it's hard not to find joy in anything that strikes a blow, even a small one, against oil culture. SUVs are evil. Period. They exist only as status symbols and serve little utilitarian purpose. I'm sorry, but I don't buy that you need such a beast to navigate city streets. And no, don't try to convince me you need four-wheel drive to handle the off-roading required for life in Beverly Hills. You'll never take that urban assault vehicle off pavement because you shudder to think what kind of damage that could do to the precious exterior of your luxury car. (Why do you think one of the original and most popular ones is called the Suburban?)
No, SUVs just exist to proclaim "I have money and don't give a damn about the environment." Most SUVs face much more permissive emissions standards than more sensical automobiles. The lot of them fall into the same category for emissions as pickup trucks, which have looser standards because back when emissions became a consideration, people who owned pickup trucks actually needed to go off road with them. Worse still, some SUVs are so beastly in size they're actually too big to fall into any existing category for emissions standards and thus face effectively few limitations. So forgive me for not crying over a few Molotoved H2s or the odd redecorated Suburban.
Besides, a wise man once told me "property is the worst form of violence."
Amen.
The Earth Liberation Front torched at least one dealership and tagged several SUVs around the area, leaving an impressive trail of destruction. And the eco-terrorists prompted several SUV lovers to open their mouths and remove all doubt of their extreme stupidity.
My personal favorite, courtesy of Patrick Navarez of Monrovia, who discovered graffiti on his SUV's window: "The funny thing about it is that they're just targeting SUVs. I think that's really dumb." Thanks for playing the game of natural selection, Patrick. We have some nice parting gifts for you, including a one-way ticket to Extinction!
Imagine the stupidity of eco-terrorists targeting only(!)SUVs. I can't believe they didn't tag a single hybrid vehicle, and spared the bicycle store down the street. What kind of eco-terrorism is that? What kind indeed, Philippe?
But I think Brian Akre takes the cake. The spokesman for Hummer manufacturer General Motors had the following to say: "If this was some kind of misguided attempt to make a political statement, those responsible should know that committing arson and putting property and people in danger is not the way to gain public support for their position." After all, putting property and people in danger is the way to hawk millions of overpriced, unsafe, gas-guzzling SUVs -- a ticket to corporate riches, not political capital.
Perhaps I shouldn't take pleasure at this act of eco-terrorism. But then, it's hard not to find joy in anything that strikes a blow, even a small one, against oil culture. SUVs are evil. Period. They exist only as status symbols and serve little utilitarian purpose. I'm sorry, but I don't buy that you need such a beast to navigate city streets. And no, don't try to convince me you need four-wheel drive to handle the off-roading required for life in Beverly Hills. You'll never take that urban assault vehicle off pavement because you shudder to think what kind of damage that could do to the precious exterior of your luxury car. (Why do you think one of the original and most popular ones is called the Suburban?)
No, SUVs just exist to proclaim "I have money and don't give a damn about the environment." Most SUVs face much more permissive emissions standards than more sensical automobiles. The lot of them fall into the same category for emissions as pickup trucks, which have looser standards because back when emissions became a consideration, people who owned pickup trucks actually needed to go off road with them. Worse still, some SUVs are so beastly in size they're actually too big to fall into any existing category for emissions standards and thus face effectively few limitations. So forgive me for not crying over a few Molotoved H2s or the odd redecorated Suburban.
Besides, a wise man once told me "property is the worst form of violence."
Amen.
posted by Alexander Dubcek | 01:26
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