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Warren Smith, the publisher of an evangelical Christian newspaper in Charlotte, N.C., compares the movie "Jesus" to the jawbone of an ass.

Yours truly, as the sole proprietor of this blog, compares evangelical Christian newspaper publisher Warren Smith to a jackass.

However dated its production values, "Jesus" has come to be viewed by many evangelical Christians as a singularly modern tool for spreading the Gospel. It speaks, though without special effects or quick editing, to a populace fluent in Hollywood. It comes in multiple languages on one disc. It concludes with a "salvation prayer" the viewer can recite with the narrator. Its local distributors consider it so effective that millions of dollars have already been spent toward the goal of delivering a copy to every household in the United States, as if it were free trial software from America Online.

The comparison to AOL junk mail is instructive, if only because it seems likely to gain just as low a reputation as those ubiquitous AOL trial discs.

So the question becomes, how will you use your unsolicited copy of "Jesus: The Campy Movie"?

A) coaster
B) frisbee
C) fuel for a home-produced laser show in the office microwave
D) adhered to a brick and returned to sender with postage due
E) other (leave your ideas below)